A Book Called Journals

How To Break Up With A Friend

Thu, 11 Mar 2010 13:53:44 -0800

Question From Myra: Hey, i had a chat with my mom earlier and asked her how to positively deal with a ditzy or not bright friend. She gave me a huge lecture and made me cry and reminded me of my best friend I lost last year. She said I expect too much from people and should grow up. Do you have any tips? When I mean lost I mean we aren’t friends anymore.

Response: It sounds to me like your question to your Mother may have triggered something in her that had little to do with your specific current issue. Moms have a lot of hopes and dreams for us. It’s important for you to understand that your Mom did not mean to make you cry.

Let’s address your ditzy friend. I believe there is a place in your life for this girl. She does not need to be your best friend and probably shouldn’t be. You can pull away from her without hurting her feelings by always being kind but not always making plans with her when she suggests something.

As young kids many of our friends have parents who are friends with our parents. We are friends with them because they are there. As we grow older, we gravitate towards people with whom we have more common interests. As our ability to make our own plans and find our own transportation increases, we sometimes grow apart from early childhood friends. This process is very natural, however, along the way, feelings may be hurt, so it is very important that above all else, you remain kind… to old friends, to new friends and especially, to your Mom.

She Likes A Boy Who Is Four Years Older

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 14:18:41 -0800

Anonymous Question: Okay , so I like this guy.

He is 4 years older than me.
But I actually like him a LOT.
I reallly have feelings for him , but I don’t think that anything will happen between us, since the age difference he might not think of me that way, and he notices me, but we never talk. He’s on my brother’s basketball team , and once he looked at me and when I looked he looked away right quickly, like he ‘wasn’t looking’ but that made my heart melt..
I know this sounds completely pathetic.
But you don’t fully understand my situation, you do not know me.
I’m not being rude, I’m sorry if it seems that way.
But please try your best in giving me advice.

Author’s Response: It does not sound the least bit pathetic and I’m thinking every woman or girl reading this would agree. Most will admit that they have been exactly where you are. Including me AND my Mother. When my Mom was five, she loved a boy who was ten. Many years later, after I was grown and my father had passed away, they began dating. All things are possible. The boy you like may notice you but here’s the hard part… You will have to wait. If you are younger than 18, it is inappropriate for you to date someone who is four years older than you. And if this is a good boy, he will not show any interest in you beyond friendship until you are at least 18 years old.

I understand that your feelings are very intense right now. You will always have a warm place in your heart for this boy. You may find yourself with him one day and you may move on. If it is meant to be then when you are ready, he’ll be ready and it will be. In the meantime, live, learn, grow, love, enjoy. And become even more of the amazing person you are meant to be.

I am answering reader questions about life, love, boys. The...

Thu, 18 Feb 2010 12:13:57 -0800

I am answering reader questions about life, love, boys. The good stuff.

Reader Repartee: Tone Down The Boy Drama

Wed, 27 Jan 2010 14:01:45 -0800

Reader Repartee: Tone Down The Boy Drama

Journals: Middle School Love & War is an iTunes Staff...

Wed, 20 Jan 2010 17:10:34 -0800

Journals: Middle School Love & War is an iTunes Staff Favorite.

Additional iTunes Staff Favorites include: Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars, 5000 Words of Wisdom and Justin Bieber Featuring Ludacris. Sweet company.

A Question About Teasing and Self Esteem

Tue, 19 Jan 2010 13:46:25 -0800

Question From Mandy: hi! so this is my first time asking for advice and my problem is that i constantly get teased by several people and i know that they’re doing it for fun but it really bothers me and gets my self esteem/confidence down and I feel bad about myself all the time.

Response: Alright, let me ask you this: Why are you giving these people the power to make you feel bad about yourself? They deserve nothing less. Here’s the good news about being the teasee. You will move past this stage of your life with no regrets, on into your promising and wonderful future. They will live with the memory of being a jerk to you and they will not get over their guilt until they one day muster the courage to friend you on Facebook and ask you for forgiveness. You will be a happy, successful person who will offer that forgiveness.

Getting back to the present tense. You are a sweet, wonderful, amazing, caring person who would never tease anyone. They are the immature followers of some small minded, insecure bully queen bee. You have everything to feel good about. You are the person I would want to know.

Ask me about friends, boys, love, life and other good stuff.

Tue, 19 Jan 2010 13:40:39 -0800

Ask me about friends, boys, love, life and other good stuff.

How Do You Know If A Boy Likes You?

Sat, 16 Jan 2010 13:19:59 -0800

Question From Victoria: Hey I’m Victoria. I turned 13 in November. And I was wondering how can you tell if a guy likes you & I love reading, writing, and giving advice! I always wanted to be an architect but writing has always been a pasion for me, I just started reading your book. I will write back when I have complete the book. :)

Response: Excellent, Victoria. Keep exploring the areas that light you up and inspire you to learn more. Don’t worry too much about what you will “be.” You can be many things.

As for your question about boys. It’s very difficult to know if a boy likes you at your age. He may say or do many different things to remain cool in the eyes of his friends. He may say he doesn’t like you, while he does. He may say he does like you while he’s still unsure. The best way to approach matters of the heart at 13 is to just get to know the person. I know that sounds too simple but it’s true. Life is coming at you very quickly. Even if he thinks he doesn’t like you today, he may be crazy about you tomorrow, or next week or by the time you get to high school. So, try not to worry too much about labels like “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” or “like” vs. “like like.” Focus on talking to the boy. The rest will come along when it’s supposed to.

Ask The Author - How do you talk to the guy you like? And how...

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 13:25:43 -0800

Ask The Author - How do you talk to the guy you like? And how do you tell your parents you have a boyfriend?!

My First Ask The Author Video Response

Wed, 06 Jan 2010 23:38:00 -0800

My First Ask The Author Video Response

Journals: MIddle School Love & War is up for a Best App Ever Award

Sat, 02 Jan 2010 15:33:03 -0800

Journals: MIddle School Love & War is up for a Best App Ever Award

A Lot of Girls Like the Boy She Likes

Wed, 30 Dec 2009 13:56:05 -0800

Question From Rachelle: so i like a boy and a lot of girls like him but not the way i like him. they like him in a hot celebrity way but ive known him for a long time. anyways im really shy around him but we only have 6 months left so i want to at least be his friend. any suggestions?

Response: Only six months left until what? Are you on death row? OK, I’ll stop being a smart aleck and take a guess that you only have six months left until the end of the school year at which point you two will go in separate directions. If this is the case then that is good news and here’s why. You have nothing to lose! If I may be so bold as to quote the great John Michael Montgomery, “Sink or swim, you’ve got to give it a whirl.” Look up the lyrics to “LIfe’s A Dance,” and read the rest of that story. If you want to be someone’s friend, all it requires is two small things. A little eye contact and a couple of words. These two small things let someone know that you think they’re OK. They let someone know that it’s safe to approach you. They won’t be rejected. Are you taking the risk that you will be rejected? Of course you are. And rejection is a tiny death. But the greater death is to live a life of never trying. And then you really will be on death row. Go forth and speak to this boy!

Today, I am talking about Journals on The Authors Show

Tue, 29 Dec 2009 14:42:25 -0800

Today, I am talking about Journals on The Authors Show

She Likes a Boy Who is Two Years Younger

Thu, 24 Dec 2009 12:30:00 -0800

Question From Ashley: I thought your book was absolutely amazing!!! I have now read it 3 times because it is so good.

I have a Selena though, I’m having some boy troubles. There is a boy that I like but he is 2 full years younger than me and bestfriend also likes him and she is going to ask him out but I don’t feel comfortable with that. I also figured out today that she told all of his friends and my friends that I like a younger boy than me and now they think I’m weird but no one knows that she likes him too. What do I do?

My Response: First of all, thank you for the compliment. Now, on to your issue. I’m afraid it sounds like your friend is not very much of a friend. Allow me to recap the situation. Your best friend is publicly humiliating you and she’s about to make a move on the guy you like. You deserve a true, honest, loyal best friend. From what you have told me, she does not fit that description.

As for the age gap. No one thinks you are weird. People just love to gossip. I don’t know how old you are but age gaps matter less as we mature. However, please be careful. If, let’s say, you are 14 and the boy is 12, do not come on too strong. Boys that young are YOUNG. If it turns out that he likes you too, it is OK to call yourselves boyfriend and girlfriend, but that’s as far as things should go before you are both much older. Meanwhile, please ignore what you think people think and find yourself a better girlfriend!

When Two Friends Like The Same Guy

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 15:34:00 -0800

Question From Rachel: Hi. I first just wanted to say that I absolutely loved you book!! Also, I wanted to ask you for some advice. There is this guy at my school and both my friend and I like him. I would hate to break her heart and go out with him, but I really like him and he really likes me. We always txt each other, but we keep it a secret. It is SO hard to just keep something from my best friend, but I like him so much! What do I do??

Response: Rachel, you are a good person. You care about your friend and you are sensitive to her feelings. That’s important for you to remember as you move through this touchy situation. Does your friend know that you like the guy that she likes? Does he know that that both of you like him? Is that why you’re keeping the texting a secret? Secrets are rarely healthy. She needs to know that you like him and she needs to know that you’ve been texting him. Gently let her know and ask her how she feels about it. Once you both have information, your next decisions will be easier to make.

It’s also entirely possible that this guy knows that you both like him and is enjoying the intention. Do not let a guy come between you and your friend. I’ve never been really sure about exactly what constitutes “Girl Code.” But I do know that doing things behind your friend’s back is not part of it. Yes, it’s OK to like him and date him. It is not OK to keep it a secret from your friend. She will find out and that will not be a happy day for anyone.

The Guy Who Flirts With Her Best Friend

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 14:49:50 -0700

Question From Samantha: Hi, my name is Samantha and I have a question about a guy. I like this guy and he told his best friend that he liked me a while ago, but he always flirts with my best friend, and never me. It gets me very jealous and I was just wondering if he seriously does like me because I have a crush on him, but it is just not making sense to me.

Response: Samantha, this is a very cloudy situation. In fact, the only thing clear is your need for clarity. This guy may be immature, he may be insecure, he may be uncertain, or, he may just be a jerk. But you like him so it’s your job to get in there and get some answers. You can either a) ask his friend why he flirts with your friend or b) ask him what the heck is going on. My vote is for b). If you ask his friend, you will get indirect information. If you ask him, you’ll get his immediate reaction to your directness. Your question to him will be simple. Ask it when you are alone with him in a non-threatening, flirty manner. ”Chuck says you like me, so why are you flirting with Jane?” Or something to that effect. This lets him know that you like him and that if he’s trying to make you jealous, it’s working. Now he can stop. If he’s a jerk, he won’t stop. If any of my first three guesses are correct, he’ll be ready to show you he likes you or you’ll, hopefully, be ready to move on.

Question About an Age Difference

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 15:58:13 -0700

Question From Dhaliah: i am very touched by this book its really great because its so real.

actually there is this boy i like for over a year he’s older than me by 4 yrs and i am 16 yrs old. i dont know how he feels aabout me like a sister or more i really like him and have a hard time trying to get over him. i just wish he would like me back any maybe who knows God might destiny him for me and me for him. i dunno wht i should be doing and esp that hes my friend’s relative.

Response: Dhaliah, I’m afraid you are going to have to be a little patient with this one. If he likes you now, he had better not do anything about it until you turn 18. You are underage and the two of you should only be friends right now. If he’s a good man and if he is worthy of you, he will not take advantage of your crush. The age difference of 25 and 21 is just fine. The age difference of 20 and 16 is not. Who knows, one day the two of you may look back on this and laugh at how long you waited, but you must wait.

"Does True Love Really Exist?"

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 12:41:25 -0700

Question from Serena: Louise. im wondering if true love really exists. i just watched the movie a walk to remember and i want to find someone like the main character Landon who is so sweet. My crush has at least 4 exes now and he changes who he likes so many times. Is true love out there or am i just unlucky?

Response: True love ABSOLUTELY exists, Serena. And here’s the key to it: Self love. I’m afraid it sounds like your crush does not love himself. Watching a movie like this helps you understand what it is you’re looking for and what it is you deserve. You want a sweet man who truly loves you and he is out there. Your crush jumps from girl to girl because he doesn’t know who he is or what he deserves so he sabotages. He is not the guy for you. The guy for you will love himself and feel worthy of your love in return.

A Date For Homecoming!

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 12:25:35 -0700

Question from Leycei: I really enjoyed this book!it was very inspiring and really changed the way I look at life. It boosted my confidence, made me look at the good things in life. It even got me a date to homecoming! I would love to read other books like this!

Sincerly, Leycei

Response: Wow, that is quite a ringing endorsement! Thank you so very much for reading the book and being open to change and inspiration. I wish you a most excellent homecoming!

"I Blush or Stutter Around My Crush"

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 12:07:15 -0700

Question From Hannah: hello! my name is hannah and i thought that this book was excellent! Lanie always seems so herself and relaxed around Clayton whenever they talk and i want to achieve this too with my crush. I always blush or stutter and go anti social whenever im around him, but he likes socialable girls that make him laugh. im funny and talkative with my friends and others but not with him. Please help me to be more like Lanie? thank you so very much.

Response: When something makes us nervous; be it speaking in public, walking into a new social setting, or being near someone we like, we loose about 50 IQ points. The blood rushes from our heads and we blather or stare into space because we believe there is so much at stake. We fear we have everything to lose. The cure is remembering that you actually have nothing to lose. You were you when you walked into the nervous setting and you will be you when you leave. Nobody gets to take that from you. Not a boy. Not a social group. Nobody. If you are unable to behave like yourself around this boy today, maybe you will be more able to do it tomorrow. The key is to keep trying. Your goal is to be around him enough to lose the bulk of your nerves. It’s easier to do this with other people around. You’ll build up your tolerance to being in his presence and eventually you will find that you are able to be as cute and charming with him as you are with your friends. Try to relax and consider that just like you, this boy is very busy growing up. It’s tough work.